Vodafone and Eastenders

I haven’t finished writing about Eastenders yet, but before I start on that I must just “thank you” to Vodafone. Specifically, Jessy and Charlotte. This is how the story runs:

I tend to keep my mobiles on vibrate in the office. (Note to self, put the ringer on and then you won’t get so many complaints that you don’t answer your ‘phone.) I digress.

I have been receiving a number of missed calls, but if people don’t leave a message, I tend not to ring back, unless I recognise the number, and sometimes not even then. Monday, just after noon, the ‘phone went and this time I answered it.

“Hello, this is Dave from Vodafone. How are you today?”

“Not great, actually,” said I, “How can I help you?”

Dave put the ‘phone down on me. Hmm, I thought, that’s unusual for Vodafone. I rang back. There was a recorded message but it wasn’t very clear, something about partners and press 1 if you don’t want to receive anymore calls. I pressed 1. Then I went online to Vodafone and asked for a “chat.”

Enter Jessy stage left. I explained what had happened, Jessy asked for the number, and checked told me that it wasn’t on their list of partner numbers, and that they had had a spate of people doing something fraudulent. After my recent experiences, I was extremely pleased that I had spoken to Jessy, and I am extremely pleased that I can warn anybody who reads this to be very, very careful. There are a lot of scammers out there. Anyway, as I was online, I asked Jessy if I could speak to someone about an early upgrade, so she put through to Charlotte.

Ladies and gentlemen, if I were in a senior position in Vodafone, Charlotte would be given a massive, massive pay rise! She very nearly sold ice to the Eskimos! Not that I’m an Eskimo, of course, but you take my point. There was no hard sell, she was lovely. We had a little chat (yes, Eastenders did feature!) while she was finding out what I wanted and how she could best suit my needs. There is a psychology behind this, and I know that, but it didn’t feel as though that was happening, so Charlotte was either very skilled or maybe she is just naturally good at selling. (Please get in contact Charlotte; I may have a little sales proposition for you, as a side line.)

I ended up with a ‘phone that I wanted that I didn’t think I could afford and it turns out I can. If I hadn’t had my sensible head on, Charlotte would have sold me more. I so wanted more, but I have to be sensible. Well done Charlotte and well done Vodafone. And I hope that she does get a pay rise as a result.

Now, back to Eastenders. Am I the only one who feels cheated that the murderer was Ben Mitchell? I take nothing away from the acting, particularly as it was live, but seriously? I was always taught, when writing fiction, that you should give the reader a few hints, and if the hints point to Colonel Mustard in the library with the lead pipe, the reader will feel cheated if it turns out to be the butler in the bedroom with the revolver. And that’s how I felt. At no time did I get a sense that Ben had  any feelings of animosity towards Lucy. In fact, the child doesn’t say very much at all.

Of course, we all knew that DC Summerhayes had met someone in the park, near the café, and said,

“But it’s still murder,”

so we knew it wasn’t someone that she was afraid of.  I imagine that was supposed to be Jane she was speaking to.

Then the writers threw us off the scent completely when she was killed. Ok, I know it wasn’t Nick Cotton’s fault that she died, she didn’t appear to be his target, although you’d never know with Nasty Nick, and he would have seen it as a result that he’d “offed a copper.”

And then there’s the return of Kathy Beale! What the…..? Talk about Bobby Ewing and his resurrection in Dallas!  That was daft enough.  I still have to watch the last couple of episodes of Eastenders on catch up (who am I trying to kid, I record it) so I don’t know how the plot has played out since Monday, but I shall watch with interest, I really will.  What on earth possesses a woman to not only walk away from her children (I can understand that, in some circumstances) but to allow them to think that she is dead for what?  Twenty years?  Who’s trying to fool whom?

I said in my last post that I do not think screen writing is easy and I still stick with that.  And I’m absolutely certain that to keep writing plots for the same programme week after week after week, keeping them fresh and keeping viewers interested is not easy either.  But come on now.  Let’s keep it real.  If writing were easy the whole world would be doing and there’d nothing in it for those of whom [some] editors think are good enough to write for their publications.

Will my displeasure at the recent storylines stop me watching Eastenders?  Probably not, they haven’t quite upset me enough for that yet, although I wouldn’t rule altogether.  There are a number of programmes I’ve loved and watched and then canned because I got bored.  Think Lost after the first series (I understand that ended being extremely unrealistic too), think Grays Anatomy, to name but two.  I’ve lived in the East end for a number of years now, although I am not, myself, an Eastender, and I think I know it pretty well now, so if the writers fancy a little break, I’m very happy to cover for them for a few weeks whilst they get their mojo back.

© Susan Shirley 2015

Eastenders 30 Years On

19 February 1985. What a day. The first ever episode of Eastenders was televised. Is it a coincidence that this year 19 February will be a Thursday, and that’s when they intend to answer the question, “Who killed Lucy Beale?” Ah, so maybe it wasn’t Abi Branning then?

Which of the ladies out there doesn’t love a soap opera? Come on, you can tell the truth, we’re all friends here. Ok, I’ll go first.

“My name is Susan and I am an Eastenders addict. I cannot miss an episode of Eastenders.”

I gave up on Corrie years ago, partly because I didn’t have time to keep watching it, and I stopped with Emmerdale when it Joe and Jack Sugden changing their boots for slippers when they’d come in from a hard days graft out there with the sheep. I always had a secret crush on Joe Sugden anyway, and it wasn’t the same after he left. I never did get into Brookside or Hollyoaks, although the occasional episode of Home and Away didn’t do me any harm. I seemed to miss Neighbours completely, although even I know about Scott and Charlene… Jason and Kylie.

This building was previously Bethnal Green Police Station
This building was previously Bethnal Green Police Station

Why do I like Eastenders so much then? Well, I think probably because, if ever I’m having a bad day, it makes me realise that my life just isn’t that bad. Ok, I’ve made some bad choices over the years, particularly where the male of the species is concerned, but I’ve never had a husband who murdered my ex, nor one who locked me in a basement and told my family that I’d committed suicide. Of course, I’m talking about Denise and Lucas. What a waste of a good looking man. You see, you’re beginning to feel better already aren’t you?

And I’ve never had a husband who’s shagged my son’s wife (actually, as I don’t have a son, that would be impossible, but it’s the thought that counts). That, of course, is Max and Stacey.

Then what about old James Willmott-Brown? Who remembers him? One time area manager for Luxford and Copley (the brewery that owns the Vic), he bought the Dagmar in Turpin Road and converted it into a wine bar. All was going well until Dirty Den got his villainous associates to interfere so the Dag started to fail as a business. Meanwhile back on the ranch, Willmott-Brown rapes Kathy Beale (there’s an awful lot of that rape business going on in Albert Square, I’d move if I lived there). As if that wasn’t enough, he came back three years later and tried to rekindle his “relationship” with Kathy. Now if that’s not enough to push you over the edge, so far that you end up marrying a Mitchell brother, what is? Again, I tell you, I am grateful for my life.

Houses in East London
Houses in East London

What about Sharongate? Come on, you must remember this one… Sharon and Grant were married but then she did the dirty deed with his brother Phil, to whom she is now married. Talk about keeping it in the family. Thinking about it, there aren’t too many of them who wear specs down in the square, so perhaps they all have eyesight problems and that’s why they end up with so many mismatched relationships?

Of course, I do watch other television programmes as well. I’m a big fan of NCIS with Mark Harmon (another mammoth crush) and little Hot Chocolate got me into NCIS LA. Rizzoli and Isles, Castle, The Closer, Midsomer Murders, the Inspector Alleyn Mysteries… Mm, my choices seem a trifle directional… I also love the comedies like Blackadder, Miranda and Outnumbered. In fact, I think Outnumbered was incredibly clever. If you haven’t seen it, I commend you to try to find it somewhere online or catch up. The kids actually ad libbed some of their lines when they were young, because, I suppose, children are immensely funny without meaning to be and it came across as more natural.

I love a good bit of telly and I admire screen writers. I’ve tried doing it and I find it one of the most boring processes that I have ever come across in my life. Or maybe I’m just not very good at it so I perceive it that way. It’s common sense, I suppose, but in screen writing, nothing is left to the imagination, as opposed to in a novel, when a lot is intentionally left to the imagination.

Maybe I just live an extraordinarily boring life, but I don’t have the kinds of dramas that happen in these TV shows. I have the odd bit of mugging, identity theft, a few problems with my teeth and cats and a bit of flooding under the house, but nothing really, so I like to take myself out of my own reality and put myself in someone else’s. Just for a little while, to make me realise that my problems are not that bad. Got to go now, Eastenders is just about to start.

 

© Susan Shirley 2015

 

 

 

50 Shades of Valentine’s

So, the much hyped film 50 Shades of Grey has been released, and, presumably, if it does as well as predicted, the other two books in the series will be turned into films as well.

I do realise that by writing about it, advertising it, I am make the author even more money, and frankly, I think she’s made quite enough out of it. I don’t do love stories, unless they are written by Jane Austen, and that’s only because she was witty and wrote a social commentary as well. The book – and even less likely the film – didn’t live up to the hype. It was, in my opinion, just another love story and if that’s what is supposed to pass as S & M, well, I’m a Dutchman’s uncle. If you are going to write about S & M, make it worth reading. There are some authors who do it far, far better. I can recommend some if you like; I’m considering dabbling in that arena myself, although I doubt that they’d be able to convert those books into films. Not the type of film you’d see in a mainstream cinema, anyway. Anyway, enough of all that, I have a day’s work to do.

It’s no coincidence that the film was released just before St Valentine’s day… St There’s a thing. Friday night and Saturday night, the day itself, the restaurants are absolutely chock-a-block with couples doing what couples in love do: gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes over a Big Mac and fries. No, it’s not my choice for a romantic meal, I don’t really do McDonalds either but people have different ideas about what passes for romantic.

I seem to recall being taken to my local Indian as a matter of course on Valentine’s day in one of my relationships, and much as I love a good curry, when it’s somewhere you go regularly, it’s just not quite special enough for Valentine’s day.

St Valentine or Valentinus was a Christian martyr who was reputedly imprisoned for marrying Roman soldiers to Christians, which was forbidden as Christians were persecuted in the Roman Empire. He is also reputed to have healed the daughter of his gaoler.

It was back in the days of Geoffrey Chaucer when 14 February first started to be associated with romantic love, but it wasn’t until the 18th century that it started to become associated with giving each other cards, and the whole hearts and flowers thing started to take off. St Valentine’s keys were also given – to unlock each other’s hearts.

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Traditionally, in Norfolk, in East Anglia, Jack Valentine knocked on the back door of houses, leaving sweets and presents for the children that lived there. Unsurprisingly, lots of children were scared of him! I think I’d find it a bit freaky for someone I didn’t know leaving me presents and sweets too!

St Valentine is not just the patron saint of lovers, he is also the patron saint of epilepsy, otherwise known as St Valentine’s Malady, which, it seems used to be very common in Germany. In Slovenia, St Valentine is the patron saint of spring, good health, beekeepers and pilgrims.

Back in 18th century England, a trend for what was known as Vinegar Valentines flourished. These were cards that insulted people about everything from baldness to belly fat, and anything else besides. They might even be used to wish someone dead. Pleasant, huh?

I had a peaceful and quiet Valentine’s day this year, and watched the Equalizer starring Denzel Washington and had a curry and some wine. All things considered, that’s actually not a bad way to spend Valentine’s day.

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© Susan Shirley 2015

Make up on the Train

I was sitting on the train going to work the other day when I heard the characteristic sound of make-up being taken out and popped back into a make-up bag. Any woman who uses make-up will know the sound, it’s unlike any other. It’s the fact that women actually put their make-up on while they are on the train fascinates me, for a number of reasons.

Firstly, how do they do it without poking a mascara wand in their eye or getting eyeliner all over their cheeks? I’ll confess right now, I’ve tried doing the mascara thing on the train or in the car on less than a handful of occasions, when I’ve been in a hurry and running late, and it just doesn’t work for me.

Secondly, I think there is something very personal and faintly sexual about someone watching you put your make-up on, so I don’t really like an audience. Think Michael Douglas and Anne Archer in Fatal Attraction.

Then I am forced to wonder why they have to do it on the train and not at home? I don’t start work at the crack of dawn so by the time I am on the train all those people who do have already started their working day. Why don’t these women put their make-up on at home, in the privacy of their own bedrooms? Surely they are not all running late for a flight? Assuming, of course, that they have bedrooms, but I’m guessing by the fact that they are sitting on a commuter train that they have homes and a job.

What happens if there is a train delay and they have to stand all the way to work? What do they do then? All these things start running through my head just from the sound of a make-up bag.

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I’m not averse to a top of lippy during the day in public, or a touch up of powder, but it’s just the whole putting on from scratch thing that I don’t understand.

So of course, I had to look. That was a mistake in itself, because I then get into the “what make-up is she using then?” thing. I am very particular about my make-up; anyone who knows me will tell you that. I absolutely adore the stuff and am like a kid in a sweetshop whenever I get into the cosmetic section of a department store. I study women’s lipsticks like a bacteriologist inspects a Petrie dish under a microscope.

I will make a confession right now; my friend Kate of mine put me onto to using less expensive make-up for every day use about a year ago, when I was on a cost-cutting exercise, so I’ve been using a Rimmel foundation for day-to-day use. Kate was right; you can’t tell the difference in how it looks, if you get the right shade. The difference is in the staying power. My Estee Lauder Double Wear or Lancôme Teint Idole 24 hour (I used to alternate when I wore these every day) do stay on far better, so I still wear them when I know I’m going out straight from work, and I use the Double Wear compact for touch-ups during the day. The other big difference is that there are fewer shades available in the less expensive brands.

My preferences in lipsticks tend to be Clinique, Estee Lauder or Mac, although Elizabeth Arden is pretty good too. I can’t bear the highly perfumed ones that some companies make, and for me, these three brands stay on really well, but I also think there is a bit of trial and error involved in all these things.

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Of course, in my early make-up wearing days, as a teenager, I had the regulation Rimmel eye shadow compact with brown, blue, green and white eye-shadow. The green was a very interesting shade. I’m not averse to brightly coloured eye-shadow, when I was younger I even wore red (and, very fetching it looked too, if I do say so myself) but I tend to stick to more muted shades nowadays. I can’t get on with less expensive mascaras either and I probably never need to buy another blusher as long as I live, so that’s a non-topic.

I am fastidious about discarding mascara and eyeliner. I have a reminder on my ‘phone – three months and they are gone. I do not want to get any nasty eye infections, but, of course, it’s not just those items that should be discarded regularly. (As I am typing this, the woman next to me has started putting on her mascara! Maybe I should pluck up courage to ask her why? She’s got a Bobbi Brown compact, so that’s ok, I like Bobbi. But I digress.) Even lipstick gets nasty little buggy things on it so should be discarded although I confess that I am not good at that.

According to webmd.com, mascara and eyeliner that has a wand that goes back into the tube have the shortest shelf life of any cosmetics, and three to four months is the maximum time they should be kept. I would suggest that this probably applies to cream eye shadows as well, especially those in jars, where you actually have to put something in there to get the product out, although Good Housekeeping says cream eye shadows will last for six months. Remember eye pencils as well, although I do think you can sharpen off the bugs, provided that the pencil sharpener is clean.

Liquid foundation will last for about a year after opening, but don’t stick anything in the bottle (one of the reasons why those with pump dispensers are good, harder to introduce bacteria into the bottle).

Lipsticks and lip glosses are usually safe for between six months and a year. Ahem. Ladies, whilst I cannot recommend that you do this, I am going to take a sharp, clean knife and shave off the very top layer of those lipsticks older than that. I just can’t throw all my lippy’s away, but it is a good way of ensuring I don’t buy so many from now on. I think this time limit probably applies to cream blushers too.

Powders should usually last for two years.

(Looks like the lady on the train is using a Mac Lip Pencil, so that’s good too. And it’s definitely a Mac Lipstick. Actually, I recommend Mac Lip Pencils above all others. They last so-o long so they are really good value and because you sharpen them you get rid of the old bacteria. And it’s a Louis Vuitton make-up bag. How’s that for class? I use the free ones that I get with the Clinique or Lauder promotions.)

So how did we get into wearing make-up?

An unnamed Roman philosopher said,

“A woman without make-up is like food without salt.”

A bold statement to make, particularly as at times through the ages, and in some civilisations, men have worn make-up too.

We know that as far back as 10,000 years BC, the Egyptians, both men and women, used what we would now call moisturisers and cleansers. That hot sun must have played havoc with their skin, unless it was dark (and it is never depicted that way). No sun block back in those days! They used lots of herbs and flowers in their preparations: myrrh, thyme, chamomile, lavender, peppermint, and rosemary, to name but a few, as well as olive oil and almond oil.

By about 4,000BC, Egyptian women had started applying foundation. At least, what passed for foundation back in those days. The used a mixture of copper and lead ore called mesdemet and malachite, which was a bright green past of copper minerals (you may have seen the stone?). They also used a little something that most of us have heard of nowadays… a combination of burnt almonds, different coloured coppers, lead, ash and ochre known as kohl as eye liner. This is what gave Egyptian women (I’m sure the men wore it too) that characteristic almond eye shape that we are so used to seeing. They even used to take their make-up out and about with them, much the way we do nowadays.

It wasn’t just the Egyptians though, the Chinese and the Japanese also used make-up. In fact, the modern cosmetics company, Shiseido, boasts to be the oldest cosmetic company in the world. It is certainly one of the oldest, founded in 1872.

About 3,000 years BC, the Chinese (men and women) started painting their fingernails. Maybe painting is an exaggeration, it was more staining them with various natural substances. (If you want to try this at home, I find turmeric is amazing and stays of for days! Even when I don’t want it to.) In Ancient China, the colour of the stain used to denote the social class, so the Chou dynasty royals wore gold and silver. Later the royalty would wear black or red (I knew there was a reason I loved these nail colours). The lower classes were forbidden to wear bright colours on their nails. Around the same time in Greece, the women started to use a foundation made of white lead and rouge made from crushed berries. They also fake eyebrows….

Doing a fast forward to around 1,500BC, and back to China and Japan, rice powder was used to whiten the face. It was also fashionable to shave the eyebrows off and paint teeth gold or black. Henna was used too, not just to dye hair, but also to dye faces, presumably for a bit of blush in the middle of all that white. Henna has been used in India and some North African cultures for a long time, and that mehndi painting (where they paint the henna patterns on the hands and so on) started about 300AD.

As far as I can tell though, it wasn’t until about 500 years later that the first lipsticks were introduced in Greece, made from clay infused with red iron.

The Romans are feted for their civilisation and they too used a bit of slap. Barley flour and butter were used for zits (?) and they made a nail polish made of sheep fat and blood… Come back Coco Chanel, if there ever was anything to forgive, it is forgiven. The Romans also loved a mud bath (well, who doesn’t?) and the men often died their hair blonde.

It wasn’t until Elizabethan England that it became fashionable to dye hair red, a la Elizabeth I, and women would wear egg whites over their faces to make them paler, however, this later evolved into the use of white lead (not sure I fancy that all over my boat race) and the fashion for red hair becomes blonde. Dyes were made from a mixture of black sulphur and honey and the “client” had to let it dry in the sun. (Must have been an interesting trip to the hairdresser in an English winter…)

In the 1800s, it became popular to use zinc oxide in face powders, and if you check your packaging, you’ll find it is still used nowadays in sunscreens.

It was Queen Victoria, God bless her, who started the anti-make-up campaign. She publicly declared make-up improper and thought it should only be used by actors. I’m not sure she did women any favours with that; women who wore make-up, particularly bright red fingernails, were still often considered “painted whores” right up until the 1960s. It wasn’t until Edwardian times that the beauty business really took off, when women were put under pressure to appear as young as possible. (So that’s how we got to where we are today then?)

Of course, the funniest thing about the second day I saw someone putting their make-up on, the joke was really on me because it had been so cold that my eyes had watered and I had mascara all over my cheeks! Maybe there is something to this putting your make-up on the train lark?

© Susan Shirley 2015

Dentistry

I had another trip to the dentist last week. Fortunately it was not a painful visit, neither in terms of treatment nor in terms of my bank balance. And I will be getting to buy myself a new toy to play with – a waterpik – once I’ve taken advice from the hygienist. Yay! I am really looking forward to that.

We were discussing what makes people go into dentistry at work this week. What is the appeal about looking in people’s mouths every day? Of course, the conversation took a turn and we started discussing other jobs that seem strange, to us office workers. Gynaecology was right up there. All you dentists and gynaecologists out there please don’t be offended, I am really glad that you do what you do; they just aren’t jobs that appeal to me. But then again, I guess maybe you guys wouldn’t want to do what I do.

Mind you, Suzette, who works with me, says that her most desired jobs are to be either a chambermaid or a picker at Argos. I’m not sure that I get either of those either.

How many of us get to do our preferred jobs in life, I wonder? When I was growing up, little boys were supposed to want to do things like becoming a train driver. I think that had something to do with the memory of the halcyon days of steam. I remember that I wanted to be an actress, which is the biggest joke going, because one of my forays into that world was when I played the narrator in something, I remember not what, and kept rushing off stage before I’d got the words out. I seem to recall playing a character called Johan in a play called A Charcoal Burner’s son, but it was only a short run. One night, I believe.

Anyway, the actress thing did not survive into adulthood, although I have done several Oscar winning performances over the years, both professionally and personally, if you get my drift… Back to dentristry.

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The Ancient Egyptians suffered from dental problems, apparently they had a lot of sugar in their diets, and we all know what that does to our teeth, don’t we? As a result of the climate and burial methods in Ancient Egypt there are a number of artefacts that show that dentistry was practised there and dates back to at least 5000BC, probably earlier. One of the remains found shows that they drilled into the mouth to drain an abscess. That must have been painful, it’s bad enough when we get an anaesthetic and I don’t think they had that all that time ago. I expect that they used something to numb the pain though. Wine maybe? It wasn’t until the 1790s when a British chemist started to experiment with nitrous oxide, otherwise known as laughing gas, to help with pain. In 1863, it was mixed with oxygen before dispensing. In fact, I remember having teeth removed when I was a child and gas was used to put me out. I don’t remember too much laughing going on though.

Once the ball had started rolling, other anaesthetics were developed, and by 1900 cocaine was regularly used, however, once it was found to be addictive, its use was stopped. In 1905 a German chemist discovered procaine, which was developed and marketed as Novocain and proved very popular. It didn’t last for long though as a number of people had allergic reactions and the effects wore off quite quickly. Nowadays, most UK dentists use Lidocaine. Topicals, containing benzocaine, may also be used. In fact, I think they are essential.

The earliest filling is believed to be from as far back 6500BC, is made from beeswax. It seems that the drilling was done by bead craftsmen! Is that, I wonder, where the fashion to have jewels embedded in teeth?

From about the Middle Ages up to the 19th century, dentistry was not a profession in itself; it was often practised by barbers or physicians. It was a French surgeon, Pierre Fauchard, known as the father of modern dentistry who adapted tools used by jewellers and watchmakers for use in dentistry. He pioneered dental prostheses made from ivory or bone and it was he who introduced dental braces.

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The first toothbrushes were made of twigs smashed at one end to provide a greater surface area for cleaning, but the Chinese were the first to make a bristle brush. It first came to Europe in the 17th century. The Swiss developed the first effective electric toothbrush after the Second World War, introduced in the United States in 1960, although the first one was marketed in 1880. The first cordless electric toothbrush was marketed in 1961.

The earliest toothpastes were made from powdered fruit, ground nut shells, talcum powder and dried flowers. If you were lucky. Other ingredients were mice, lizard livers, urine and rabbit heads. Can you imagine it? If you didn’t have bad breath before, you would do after that. Mind you, as toothpaste manufacture continued to develop, some other ingredients were even less savoury, and contained ingredients that dissolved the tooth enamel. Proctor and Gamble introduced Crest toothpaste in 1956.

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The first toothpaste tube that we know and love was first marketed in 1892, with the pump dispenser being introduced a hundred years later in 1984.

Some famous people have shown an interest in dentistry over the years…

The famous gambler and gunfighter, Doc Holliday, graduated from the Pennsylvania College of Dental Surgery in 1872, when he was just 20 years old.

Mark Spitz, Olympic Gold Medallists in 1972 had been accepted into dental school but gave it up to concentrate on his swimming career.

American Western author, Zane Grey, practised dentistry in New York before he became a bestselling novelist.

Paul Revere of American Revolution fame was a silversmith who also worked as a dentist and was famous for making false teeth for his patients.

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Famous people who’ve had their gnashers improved:

Nicholas Cage… In 1984 he had some teeth removed and some smartening up done to the rest.

Gary Busey has had a full set of veneers.

George Clooney. Apparently he grinds his teeth so has a full set of veneers.

Victoria Beckham. Just take a look at the photographs pre-Spice Girls fame.

Tom Cruise. He had really crooked teeth before he had them straightened out.

Ben Affleck had veneers to lengthen his teeth.

50 Cent, the rapper. He is reputed to have spent over $50,000 on them so let’s hope they are good.

Jim Carrey. He has a chipped front tooth, but removed the cap for the film Dumb and Dumber.

Hilary Duff sports a full set of veneers.

Cheryl Fernandez-Versini nee Tweedy previously Cole. Well, you’d have to have your teeth done after that mouthful wouldn’t you! She’s another one with a full set of veneers.

Catherine Zeta-Jones had a full set of veneers to lengthen her teeth.

Michael Douglas. Probably the least said about him the better.

Courtney Love has a nice set of veneers.

Mike Tyson. After having his gold teeth knocked out by his pet tiger, he’s gone for a more traditional coloured replacement.

Clark Gable suffered from gum disease in his thirties and had a full set of dentures.

Celine Dion has certainly had work done; it looks as though she has a full set of veneers too.

©Susan Shirley 2015